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Old 08-15-2017, 09:56 PM   #1
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Aoyama Sudao and Konkaji Genta embark on a mission, tasked with wooing the hearts and minds of a village in order to get their populace to uproot, for their own safety, of course! This thread follows the two men in their efforts, and Sudao may or may not have taught Genta a little bit on the way. Let's hope that the terrible PDC doesn't derail them too badly!

*This thread qualifies for the MotM perk.
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Old 08-16-2017, 01:33 AM   #2
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I pretty much already read the thread so I'll claim it
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Old 08-16-2017, 02:10 PM   #3
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Okay, out of the way. Wess, 3 points, plus a MoTM. Simon, 2 points plus a MoTM.

I don't have much bad to say about the thread, because it feels like a filler episode in an anime in all the best ways. I honestly do not mean that as a criticism at all. A village needs our help! I already knew where the thread was going and I'm all for the encore thread that's happening now. I see it. It's good.

So, Simon, Genta is kind of loveable for being so naive about Sudao. Wess, as usual Sudao is just a manipulative, rotten person. Both of these characters work really well together. Genta's enthusiasm to learn how to talk to people, and his earnesty in just "jumping in" to explain things comes across as really endearing, and not in a condescending way. He'd been dealt a rough hand and he just seems like a good natured guy. The way you write that comes across well. It's a talent to connect with readers.

Wess, obviously I'm biased because Sudao is my boyfriend, but the subtle-not-at-all-subtle machinations present in the nearly every post are wonderful. Sudao is obviously planning and plotting every damn second of his life, and it shines here. He is only nice to Genta because of the Konkaji name, and it comes across really well because while the narration is terrible (for empathy for Sudao, not technically), the actual dialogue is always poised and nice to Genta. I want to scream. I want Genta to see through it all, but at the same time it's entertaining.

While a lot of the thread was dialogue with the town leaders, it wasn't a boring thread. I could see what it was setting up and can respect that. At the same time, some of the dialogue suffered from useless exposition. Explaining exactly how the evacuation would go could be have much, much more condensed. It could have been a single paragraph. I understand you two probably wanted to set the framework for how the second thread would go, but it was kind of slow and trudging in the middle there.

Overall, I'm excited to see where it goes.
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Old 08-16-2017, 03:31 PM   #4
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Thanks for the rating! I just really wanted to do a noncombat mission for once.

I'll take all four points in strength to bring the total to 20. Thanks!




MIZU: Edits done.
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Last edited by Mizu; 08-16-2017 at 03:54 PM..
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Old 08-16-2017, 04:06 PM   #5
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Just throw everything in willpower for me, thanks fam.
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Old 08-18-2017, 04:37 PM   #6
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Hella done and moved
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