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Old 01-03-2016, 08:09 PM   #1
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Location: Finding A Better End
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Default [Spartoi] - Kinsha of Dust

Emissary of Dust

Age: 12
Height: 5'0"

Character Type: Shinobi

Country: Kaze no Kuni/Sunagakure no Sato
Rank: Genin
Division: KAZE Trainee


Kinsha is a small, slim child with a creamy complexion and gray eyes. Their hair, so blond it's near white, frames their rounded face and drapes over and around Kinsha's shoulders. People find that Kinsha stares uncomfortably long, laughs at inappropriate moments and has a too-wide smile that creeps onto the face at times when there's really not anything to smile about.

Their Spartoi uniform is modified from the standard to better resemble the Dustmen they serve as emissary to. Their Spartoi cape is more of cloak, and falls over their body in crimson, with a hood they can pull over their head to keep the sun out of their eyes and off of their face. Beneath that, they wear loose brown trousers, with a rust-red top with long, billowing sleeves covered with sewn arcane symbols borrowed from Kinsha’s first home and pockets to hold the many and varied tools of Kinsha’s trade. For their feet Kinsha has a pair of heavy black boots.


Kinsha is startlingly articulate for a child. Even in casual conversation, they will resort to formal speech, complicated words and elaborate sentences that sound, depending on who exactly you ask, either endearingly precocious or incredibly creepy . . . But mostly creepy. They are intelligent, know it and are deeply proud of it, and it lends them an air of confidence bordering on insufferable. Kinsha has developed a deep sarcastic streak and a love of snark, one that doesn't let up ever, but can vary between affectionate and biting. When they're upset, they smile, and when they're afraid, they laugh, when they want feel better about something, they turn it into a joke.

While they are intelligent, Kinsha cannot get over the hurdle that they are simply very very bad at people. They wade into conversations, eager to take part, and watch, without comprehending why, as people glance away for an escape or break into awkward pauses, start looking for excuses to leave as they are put off by Kinsha's sick gallow's humor, odd manner of speaking and insistent sarcasm. Kinsha wants company but remains unsure of how to get it and keep it even now, which Sand's present attitude toward the Dustmen has not helped.

Combo Archetype - Death Doctor
Archetypes: Taijutsu Specialist – Offensive Healer
Combo Special: Twice per thread, the Death Doctor can physically touch a muscle and cause it to cramp painfully for one post.
Description: These are not your typical medics. In fact, these Shinobi barely seem like actual medics, for their main purpose in medical study is to discover more ways to disrupt the human body in combat. Their armament may seem a tad unorthodox, consisting of scalpels and syringes, but the Death Doctors understand exactly how to break down and destroy the body piece by piece.

Primary Archetype - Offensive Healer []
Primary: Mental
Secondary: Physical
Tertiary: Chakra
Stat Merit: +1 to Intelligence, +1 to Reserves, +1 to Speed
Stat Flaw: -2 to Willpower, -1 to Power

Secondary Archetype - Taijutsu Specialist {}
Stat Merit: +1 to Strength, +1 to Speed, +1 to Stamina
Stat Flaw: -2 to Reserves, -1 to Power




Tactics: 1+2|+3|=6
Willpower: 1[-2]+5+1=5


1{+1}=2(+2 Onken)
Speed: 1[+1]{+1}+5=8(+10 Onken)
Stamina: 1{+1}+3|+1|=6(+6 Onken)


Control: 1+2=3
Reserves: 1[+1]{-2}+2=2

Jutsus and Techniques

Medical Ninjutsu
Stage One
Igaku Kunren – Medical Training
Requirements: Control 2, Willpower 2
Stage Two
Jokyo Dokubutsu – Poison Removal
Requirements: Intelligence 5, Willpower 4, Tactics 4

Wind Ninjutsu and Sand Forgotten Arts
Stage One
Sabakudoku: Ichi
Replacing: Yadama Furooseigyo
Requirements: Control 3, Tactics 2
Stage Two
Sabakudoku: Ni
Replacing: Kaze Bakuhatsu
Requirements: Sabakudoku: Ichi, Willpower 5, Intelligence 4, Tactics 4

Futoumeisei Gai Nai No
Stage One
Utsusemi no Jutsu
Requirements: Control 3, Willpower 2
Stage Two
Doujutsu: Senrigan
Requirements: Intelligence 5, Tactics 4, Willpower 4

Stage Two
Requirements: Speed 8, Stamina 6, Tactics 6
Stage Bonus: +5 Speed, +3 Stamina, +1 Strength

Sand Genjutsu
Stage One
Requirements: 3 Intelligence, 2 Reserves

Shinobi Kit
Wrist Blades|2
Foot Spikes|2
Debilitating Poison|3

Initial Weapon Points: 8
Weapon Points Purchased: 0
Weapon Points Used: 7
Remaining Weapon Points: 1

Originally Posted by Bureaucracy of Kaze no Kuni—Spartoi Interview

Their voice is soft, gentle. "I know you are meant to record this all, but, Instructor, I would take it as a personal favor if you . . . That is to say, if you could please not keep that record?"

Brief moment of tension, a quiet murmur.

A cleared throat. Sniffling? "Thank you so much."
“Greetings, instructor Dazai.”

The sound of papers rustling. A question, casually asked.

“You know this story, instructor.”

A gentle apology, paired with firm insistence.

“Very well. ‘In my own words,’ then.

“The name written on those papers is ‘Kinsha.’ It is the name that was given to me before I was sent to you. It can be read two ways, as ‘gold dust’ and as ‘gold sand.’ They explained this to me before I came, that I am to be a bridge between Sand and Dust. Neither and both.

“There is no family name because the Dustmen are my family. They found me when I was five, and . . .”

An interjection. Another question. Silence.


Then quiet scolding. A repetition?

“I’m not going to tell that story. Skip.

Disappointed sighing. Disapproval, clearly voiced.

“It’s personal, instructor.” Their voice rises. Emotion bleeds into their tone. Anger. And hurt? “‘How I ended up with the Dustmen?’ GUESS!

A soft intake of breath. Gentle rebuke.


“Not this, sensei. Please. Can we keep going?"

"The Dustmen aren't all retired shinobi. For many decades the Dustmen have been raising children to be the next Dustmen. There are actually many that the Dustmen take in. They took stock of us all when selecting an emissary and decided that I was best socialized.

". . .

"Instructor you are looking at me strangely."
"Among the Dustmen, you must take care. There is any number of ways to die in any given room. You learn to be savvy, quick, listen when you're told of danger. They kept younger ones out of more dangerous places, but still there were accidents. I know some who have awful scars because they cracked a volatile solution on the ground, mixed the wrong ingredients or stood next to someone else who did. I have a few chemical burns myself. Nothing horrible; I learned quickly.

"It is a bigger and grimmer family than most are accustomed too. We have few possessions, and we turn to the support of our fellow Dustmen. If I told you about the pranks that were pulled, well. We enjoyed ourselves."

"I still miss it. There's a certain appeal to the liveliness of your streets; the noise, the vibrancy. But sometimes it's too much. Sometimes I pull the blinds and dream that I am still home, the others all tucked in around me."

"I . . ."
A prompt, masking mirth.

"The academy was a struggle. I was not used to the atmosphere. The subjects were approached in a similar manner, but while the Dustmen emphasize deliberate, careful study, you have more competition? Rankings? Dustmen are more communal. Consider each accomplishment a collective success. You are more individualistic here. It was difficult. And . . .

. . . A little lonely as well."
"The Ryodan? We didn't know about them either. No more than a few at the very top who knew only that they provided service for a Sand secret unit. Some of us are angry, but not as many, and it’s clear why. SAWA were dismantled because of scandal. There was time to fix it. The Ryodan murdered a whole clan and killed their own kage. They had to die.

"I didn't like Nayoko but I didn't want her to die. I just wanted her to apologize for what she did and try to make up for it. I'm sure everyone else feels the same."
"That’s not to say that I did not enjoy my time at the academy, instructor. The staff was understanding and there was much less tension between the Dustmen and Sunagakure. I did not feel unwelcome.

“There were friends to be made. I had had few enemies and few friends, but good friends. Sasori in particular was something of a blessing. I was familiar with some of his family; he was curious about where I came from and helped me a great deal. My coming would have been rockier without him.

“Etsuya is entertaining from a safe distance, terribly funny even though he doesn’t mean to be. Takai is . . . Sincere? They are fun to watch . . . though I would not go so far as to call them friends. I had more, but I’d prefer not to speak of them."


“The rest are dead. Instructor.”

A pause. A redirection?

“Not anymore. Hiryo was not like he is now. If you had asked me a year ago, I would have called him a friend? He occupied me with conversation and seemed to treat difference with more intrigue than aversion. No more.

“I don’t like Eiko either. She strikes me as too quiet, and a little creepy.

“Instructor, you’re making that face again.”
A sober, low-toned inquiry.

". . . What? You're asking me this? Is it because I'm . . . Are you asking EVERYONE something like this? Actually, I hope you're not. If you are, that's So much worse.

"I knew them. A few were friends. And now they're dead. I know the names of the chemicals that did it to them, too. I know what that does to the body.

An interr—

"I'm not done. I know what that does. I know what it must have felt like that chemical is one of the worst. One day they were alive and perfectly healthy. Next they were dead. And the way they died, it was awful. It wasn't heroic. It wasn't noble. It was just tragic. And, then, where does the finger get pointed? Who gets blamed?

"I grew up with them. I lived with them. They're my family. They wouldn't do something like th—"

A stern scolding.

"Sorry. I know that's not what you meant, but people talk, blame. And I'm so tired of it."
"I wasn't involved with the village or country until I was emissary. Dustmen mostly keep to ourselves, and there isn't need to keep track of going-ons. Most of what I heard about Nayoko wasn't positive. And I could never really shake that impression of her."

The pen stops scratching. Stillness.

"Everyone gets angry. Why can't they understand? When Nayoko dismantled SAWA, she took our research. We had breeding programs. Whole families, lineages laced with subtle poisons refined over generations. Dustmen spent their whole lives researching, adding to what the SAWA were and when they died other Dustmen theirs adding more. When Nayoko just stopped it, she took away a century’s work.

"We could have worked with her, salvaged something. Instead, she shut everything down. But Dustmen had committed lives to it. Our research is EVERYTHING, and she took it away. Why can't you see that? Why can't anyone see that wasn't right?"

A question.

"Of course we're still mad. All that work? Wasted. And no apology. They don't see what they did wrong. Well . . . That's why I'm here, to help people understand. I want people to understand.

". . . Sometimes, it just feels hopeless.

". . . Don't look at me like that."
"Enzan? He seems good so far, and got us through the priests. But I guess I'm holding off on judgment untill I know if he survives the first few years. Ha ha ha.

“It's a joke, instructor. Was it really that unfunny?"

Firm assent.

" . . . I see."
“The results are plain. I lost in the first round, though considering I lost to the Telescope of Dusk I am not sore. Loss to the number-two rookie is hardly shameful. Truthfully it was difficult to approach the Gauntlet with enthusiasm. My title was secure, and to move on, I would have to defeat Sasori.

“It is easy to be excited in your tournaments; prowess pitted against prowess, strength against strength. Regardless, you understand the strength a Dustman wields against their enemies. Poisons line my wall, my blood is mildly toxic. Is this something that you would use against a ‘friend?’ Something to give Sunagakure a good impression of the Dustmen?”

Quiet reprimand.

“The gauntlet is a spectacle. It is a show. With what skills I chose to use, I did everything I could. But, if you want to judge me for not ‘giving it my all,’ remember that ‘giving it my all’ from me is not pretty. No one came here to see that. And while other students have their reputations on the line I represent something bigger. If Sand distrusted the Dustmen because of me, I would be letting them down.”
Other Info:
  • Ap Cap Monitor: 4/27 Stats, 0/6 Jutsu, 4/33 Total

Creation - 2GMAP: +1 Willpower, Sabakudoku: Ni | 4AP: +3 Willpower, +1 Stamina
The Language Of Flowers - Doujutsu: Senrigan
Cloud GM
Shinshi Clan GM
~ Tsuriau Clan GM

Please Use [They/Them] Pronouns For Me.
Kurayami ~ Real Monster | Y—i ~ Unfurling Fire | Ayaka ~ Silent Dissident
Kyou ~ Collared Cat| Masuyo ~ Lurking Liar | Rina ~ Serial Adventuress
Shiori ~ Cynical Seer | Kinsha ~ Pure Poison | Miyu ~ Amoral Mage

Last edited by Kaen; 08-03-2017 at 02:02 PM..
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Old 01-14-2016, 02:18 AM   #2
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Location: Finding A Better End
Posts: 4,756

Cloud GM
Shinshi Clan GM
~ Tsuriau Clan GM

Please Use [They/Them] Pronouns For Me.
Kurayami ~ Real Monster | Y—i ~ Unfurling Fire | Ayaka ~ Silent Dissident
Kyou ~ Collared Cat| Masuyo ~ Lurking Liar | Rina ~ Serial Adventuress
Shiori ~ Cynical Seer | Kinsha ~ Pure Poison | Miyu ~ Amoral Mage
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Old 01-16-2016, 03:26 AM   #3
u havin a giggle m8
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Posts: 2,960

Another androgynous Kaen character!

Power: 1{-1}+2=2
I'm fairly certain this should be a -2. None of your taken techniques use Power at all though, so I don't think anything changes there.

The gauntlet is a spectacl.
Everything else apart from the stat thing looks fine. That constant 'they' refrain makes me think less of a genderless character and more like it's a conglomerate/hivemind, and as usual I'm not sure which one you were going for so don't change anything if you're happy with that.

I'm pretty sure you used the non-linear narrative for a biography once before but hey, whose really keeping track (^: I'll Half-Approve once the stat issue is resolved.
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Old 01-16-2016, 03:46 AM   #4
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Stats fixed for you and cut off word repaired.
Cloud GM
Shinshi Clan GM
~ Tsuriau Clan GM

Please Use [They/Them] Pronouns For Me.
Kurayami ~ Real Monster | Y—i ~ Unfurling Fire | Ayaka ~ Silent Dissident
Kyou ~ Collared Cat| Masuyo ~ Lurking Liar | Rina ~ Serial Adventuress
Shiori ~ Cynical Seer | Kinsha ~ Pure Poison | Miyu ~ Amoral Mage
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Old 01-18-2016, 07:07 PM   #5
Ancient Member
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AP - Swaps - Weapons/Items
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Old 01-19-2016, 11:12 AM   #6
Alpha Twink
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I'm holding off on judgment until I know this character will survive its first few years. :x

Available for registry checks, just ask!
If you need character sheet edits done, let me know!

Ratings Moderator / Ame no Kuni Primary / Kaze no Kuni & Hi no Kuni Secondary / Maeda Clan GM
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AP / Swaps
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Old 01-19-2016, 11:17 AM   #7
Sun General Storyboy
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Spooky Half-Approved


AP: 56
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Old 01-25-2016, 09:40 AM   #8
So fragile yet so devious
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Posts: 3,304

And final Half for awesome character. Just got to wait on Hito now.
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Old 02-15-2016, 06:21 AM   #9
Shichidaime Sunagakure GM
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Emissary of Dust—Kinsha [Kaen]
A consul / A messenger / A diplomatic agent

I feel like my reviews are getting shorter, maybe because I’m burning out, or maybe it’s just dependent on the character. I feel like you had a clear idea of who Kinsha was when writing their biography and character sheet, so your ideas developed from a space that made it easy for me—as a reader—to glide through this sheet. Now that I think about it, the biography clocked in at 1476 and read real smooth. I dare say, this was one of the cleanest applications of the Spartoi that I’ve read thus far, and the length of the biography matched many of the others who applied.

Yeah, man, this character is seamless like a mo’fo. The way that the other classmates were mentioned—although sort of listed—developed real natural with the way the biography itself was set up. The only real critique I have, like with everyone else, are the moments Kinsha made the interviewer, Nevin, flustered. Lol, that honestly wouldn’t happen. These are Genin. Children. They aren’t as deep as folks are attempting to make them. As an instructor, or teacher, it’s pretty easier to read children. So, word. Fix that. Please.

Other than that, good work.

Sand Primary GM Approval, Kinsha is officially the Emissary of Dust.

Welcome to the Spartoi

Additional Notes:
Dear lord, I’m getting burnt out reading these, lol
A small, slight child—what?
Ambiguous pronouns for the win
Okay I’m not going crazy. Review the Appearance section, there are literally instances where you’re dropping words in sentences
Oh wait, I realized, you wrote a whole ass character but I can’t get a post in our Mist thread? HAHAHA COME ON!
Of course Kaen would know the poison used at the Academy bombing because you the one who put that in motion lmao

Spartoi Mentions:
Eiko—lmfao too quiet and creepy? Funny
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